“Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.” – Ma Jaya Sati
I have been asked an interesting question this week by several different people, who are in my life in different ways. So, when things like that happen I recognize that this is most likely something I need to spend some time with. The question was “Why are you so passionate about working with humans and horses?”
To the detriment of my physical health, relationships getting neglected, financially living on the edge and emotionally participating in a journey with other people that often triggers within my own empathetic soul, a deep sense of sorrow, I still keep my eyes fixed on this idea that “if only they knew”…
I have this sense of urgency that drives me to continue to do this work, manage this ranch, take care of these horses, share my stories and commit to providing opportunities for humans to feel a sense of safety and reconnect to their souls.
You see, every day that folks continue to sleepwalk through life, thinking that there is some point in time when you actually get to be happy and content is crazy. When is that? What is everyone waiting for?
When the men I work with voice anguish over fear about losing their wives/girlfriends, I simply ask them, where are you? What if all she wants is to hold your hand, have you ask her if she is okay and simply provide connection for her? Safety. The wives share their anguish over loving their husbands, knowing that they are good men, and yet they are so lonely. The long for connection, not a new Suburban or piece of jewelry. Be present, be with each other, put down the fears…but how? Connect to your true self.
And the kids, desperately trying everything they can to get mom and dad’s attention. Just 30 minutes would do…uninterrupted connection. Truly being in the moment with them, recognizing they are scared, or happy or curious. But to do that you have to be connected to you!
Women seek my help because they can’t figure out who they are. Literally every relationship involves some transaction…what can I make for you to eat, which practice are you needing a ride to, did I sign all of your papers for school, did I buy your favorite beer, did I remember your shirt at the cleaners, did I buy the birthday card…this endless list of things to do, instead of a sense of who they are, who they were created to be, the wisdom that lies inside of their souls longing to be seen. Being okay not getting it all done perfectly.
What is is about horses that helps humans? It isn’t woo woo. It isn’t witchcraft, or pagan evil spells. It isn’t simply a pretty animal that we brush and “lead” around or ride in a strange relationship based on fear and control and peace and memories from being a child with horses. How confusing! For humans and horses.
It is about horses honestly giving us immediate feedback on our own state of being here, or being checked out. They see the real us. And they do not like it at all when we put on masks, start to play a role, pretend to be okay when we’re not, or try to buy their affection with carrots or treats and then sense our fear of losing the relationship when the carrots run out. Seriously, they sense our doubts, fears and confusion, and don’t judge us for it, they will however let me know when those things are being pushed away and then we can talk about why those things are getting pushed away. What rule says you can’t be afraid of rejection? What rules says that it is not okay to want to be loved or to belong? How do we learn how to bravely face those fears that stand in the way of our forward progress if we don’t recognize that they are there?
So this looks like me helping you all find yourselves. And I ask the horses to help me, because I know them very well and I trust them. You guys are really really good at hiding your emotions and pretending, so although I can certainly sense those things sometimes, I get affirmation when my horses let me know for sure.
Learning to authentically show up isn’t for me. It is for you. It is to give you the gift of Presence. If being able to recognize within your body the ability to find value in who you are. Your soul. Who you were created to be inside your mother’s womb. When you connect to yourself, and timidly take those first steps it is scary. But over time, not much time actually, the feeling of safety you will find there will fill your spirit with energy.
Remember, this is all about love. It is all about courage. It is all about living on this Earth peacefully, safely and lovingly. Perfect love casts out fear…courage comes from the heart. We are creatures with hearts and minds. We just have been taught to avoid emotion, avoid the heart, push away the sensations of fear and sorrow. Then they all stack up inside and start coming out as anger and anxiety, depression and separation/isolation.
It truly is simple. Breathe. Recognize safety. Allow space for connection and stop bracing against taking a brave step forward. Seriously what is everyone waiting for? God’s beautiful creation and proof of His love is all around us. Christ came to teach us how to love, how to live, how to treat one another. Anything else is not of God.
Unlearn false narratives of independent, stoic, strong, protect yourself, don’t be vulnerable, be perfect, get more toys and then you’ll be happy….get more powerful, then you’ll be happy…
Find joy. Find safety. Find peace. It is worth it. And if it isn’t working with me, then find someone to help. Stop sleepwalking. Wake up.
Find safety, it is there, right inside of you. That is why I do what I do. Every moment you miss living here on Earth, really engaging and noticing what is going on inside and around you, is gone forever.